To Rome
by Bluewater
Summary: Somewhere between Ethan falling into a freezing river and a hotel in Rome, Ethan and Brandt happened. Now a failed mission forces the team to deal with the repercussion in a hostile environment where Ethan is losing focus, Brandt is hurt, Jane is annoyed, and Benji is well being Benji. Warning: Hunt/Brandt slash, torture, implied rape, and all the other good stuff.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: **Very dark fanfiction** with implied rape and torture. Major violence and whumpage for Brandt. Ethan/Brandt slash. MI4 does not belong to me and I am just borrowing the character for fun. Reviews are like cookies, can't never have enough of them. English is my third language so I sincerely apologize for any mistake. I welcome anyone who wants to be my beta and help me improve my English.

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**Chapter 1 – It was never supposed to end up like this **

It was never supposed to end up like this. Brandt lies in Ethan's arm, brutalized, naked, and bleeding.

Five days ago, Brandt posed as a Ukrainian bureaucrat to draw out an American military commander who has been selling U.S. military secrets to foreign governments. The trade took place in Kosovo, where the commander was stationed. Somewhere between exchanging a briefcase of cash and the U.S. operational intelligence, Ethan and his team lost Brandt's audio feed. By the time Ethan and Jane kicked down the warehouse door, Brandt and their target had vanished. The only thing on the filthy cement floor was Brandt's Rolex Watch with the GPS tracker.

Four hours ago, after exhausting all Ethan's assets and their resources, they located Brandt in the backroom of Kosovo's notorious brothel.

Brandt's hands are bounded and he is suspended in the air with a rope hung from the ceiling and it's attached to his wrists. His ankles are also tied together and his feet barely touch the floor. Whip lashes and cuts decorate his pale skin. Groups of several small and red burned marks cover Brandt's inner tights and chests. However, what has caught Ethan's attention is a trail of blood tracing between Brandt's legs.

The mixed smells of blood, sweat and urine overwhelm the senses and Ethan hears the sound of Benji vomiting right outside the room.

Raw rage burns inside of Ethan, making his blood boiled. Ethan has never felt this kind of hatred and fury. They kidnapped, tortured and hurt one of his team members. He will hunt down every last one of them and make them pay dearly for their actions. This is not a mission, this has just become revenge.

"Jesus…"Jane whispers

For thirty seconds, Ethan stands glued to the floor, not sure if Brandt is alive or dead. But then a small whimper escapes Brandt and Ethan leaps into action.

He throws his IMF issued Swiss knife toward Jane and pulls over a nearby chair that most likely had been used to torture Brandt as well.

Jane quickly rushes over and stands on the chair to cut the ropes that bound Brandt's wrists.

Ethan catches the deadweight of the agent and sinks to the floor with Brandt in his arms. The action causes Brandt to moan softly and Ethan apologizes quietly.

"Get Benji's jacket." It is not a request, but a command and Jane nods silently.

It was never supposed to end up like this. Brandt lies in Ethan's arm, brutalized, naked and bleeding.

Ethan grabs the Swiss knife that Jane has discarded on the floor and cuts the ropes that bound Brandt's ankles. Ethan carefully reaches up to check for a pulse. However, with unimaginable strength for someone in Brandt's condition, he suddenly shoves Ethan backward and collapses ungracefully on the filthy ground.

Ethan is shocked by the move, but quickly eases forward and lifts the injured agent off the ground.

Brandt is beyond caring. Five days of continuous interrogation and torture have broken his body and shattered any hope of being rescue. Ethan is going to be greeted with a body. Brandt will never see the Rome again like Ethan has promised and their dreams of counting the stars under the sky will perish. And Ethan…

The terror and the despair of the situation start to creep over Brandt as the memory of what has happened yesterday with the four men returns.

A chilling cry escapes his throat and follows by a painful cough as Brandt struggles to draw air into his lungs. A muscle spam suddenly takes hold of Brandt and he is left grasping for air. The pain overwhelms all his senses and takes any dignity that is left in him. He grips tightly onto the arms of his captor not caring if he was one of them that brutality penetrated him.

"Brandt, it's ok. It's me!" The helplessness and the anxiety of first discovering Brandt return with full force to Ethan. He is a man of action and protection. But right now he neither knows what to do nor how to protect.

Ethan reacts instinctively and cradles Brandt close to his chest. He whispers softly beside his agent's ear just like how he did the night before this mission.

"It will be ok William, I _am_ here."

Brandt relaxes slightly against Ethan's body and slowly opens his eyes. For five days, Brandt dreams of this moment. For five days, he cries for Ethan in his nightmares. For five days, he aches to see his boss one last time.

Here…at this moment, Brandt has no regrets.

Brandt's cracked lips part slightly and Ethan bents forward to catch the heartbreaking words of his partner.

"You found me…"

* * *

_Tbc…_

_It was never supposed to end up like this,_

_You lie in my arms while life slowly slips away. _

_Tears fall, my heart aches, and you simply smile and give me a good bye kiss,_

_Heaven knows this cruel, but it still cannot just let you stay. _


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: **Very dark fanfiction** with implied rape and torture. Major violence and whumpage for Brandt. Ethan/Brandt slash. MI4 does not belong to me and I am just borrowing the character for fun.

Thank you for all the great reviews! I don't think I desire any of the praises, but thank you for the encouragement.

For authors, reviews are like lifeline, we depend on them for survival, for creativity, and for support.

I sincerely apologize for any mistake and if you do catch any, please let me know! (I am still a little confused on all the _perfect_ tense rules.)

**Chapter 2 – Holding on **

Benji pulls their van into the dark alley of the brothel while Ethan and Jane maneuver Brandt out through the back door.

Ethan carefully cradles Brandt's torso close to his chest, reaches down and scoops up his legs. Jane drapes Benji's jacket over Brandt's chest and also covers his private area.

A low soft whisper escapes Brandt's lips and he clutches Ethan's shirt until his knuckles turn white.

The last time Ethan attempted fireman's carry was with Julia at their honeymoon and that's five years ago. There is no doubt Brandt is fitted. But five days of torture and suffering have brutalized his body and probably have caused him to drop 20 or 30 pounds. Ethan wonders if the last time Brandt eat anything was the morning of the mission.

"I…I think I can walk…Ethan"

Ethan knows Brandt does not mean to sound so pathetic, but his voice shakes with uncertainty and hesitation.

"And I can fly too Brandt. Relax, this might be the only time you earn this kind of luxury treatment." Ethan feels the young man takes a deep breath and sinks into his arms.

The summer heat in a un-air conditioned brothel is making Ethan sweated profoundly. He wishes he had listened to Benji and opted for a cooler clothing choice. The heat is making it hard to firmly hold onto Brandt and Ethan has to stop a couple of times to readjust.

"Sorry…" Brandt chuckles while Ethan stops briefly to shift his agent's weight.

"What for?" Ethan can't help but wonder.

"To…heavy…"Brandt manages to grind the words out.

Ethan smiles at the comment. "Not at all, in fact I feel like I am carrying a feather. I am going to cook for you every day until you gain all the pounds you have lost."

The statement warms Brandt's heart. In their relationship, Brandt discovers that Ethan absolutely hates cooking. However, when he does, he makes an amazing meal. Up to today, Ethan has only cooked for Brandt twice and once on Christmas and once on his birthday. Brandt has pushed Ethan for the reason. But Ethan has never told him.

It was six months ago when they were moving that Brandt discovered all the recipes Ethan cooked for him on Christmas in an old wooden box. Brandt immediately recognized the handwriting. It was Julia's. Since that day, Brandt has never asked again for the reason and has just accepted whenever Ethan wants to cook.

With a gun draw-out, Jane leads the way and Ethan follows not far behind. Jane kicks down the door leading to the back alley and sees Benji drives-up to the door.

The welcoming breeze of a summer night is like heaven for Ethan. But the fragile body in his arms shakes and shivers violently.

"Stay with me, Will." Ethan comforts.

"We better hurry; a van in the middle of the red light district certainly will draw attention." Benji says as he parks the van and speaks to the group through the opened passage window.

"Why?" Jane asks as she opens the slide doors and climbs in first.

"While, I mean, there are so many you know places to do it, why would there be a van? You know?" Benji answers. "I mean no one wants to do it in a van…it is small, hot and messy. Plus there are so many things you can't do in a van like if you want to be on top then your head will technically hit the roof of the car and…

"Shut-it Benji!" Jane stares at the technician. Benji's analysis is not something that Jane wants or cares to hear at this moment.

"Ethan, hand him to me, it will be easier for you to get in." Jane motions for Ethan to shift Brandt over.

"I got him!" Ethan does not mean to sound so defensive. But it is already too late. Thankfully Jane understands and smiles at him. "I know, but let's not do anymore damage to Brandt by having you fall over, ok"

Ethan nods and gently hands Brandt over to Jane and climbs in after. The back of the van is stripped of the seats and the floor is covered with soft mats. Sitting on the floor is not so bad until the van starts to move through the streets of Kosovo. With no seats and seatbelts to stabilize the bodies, Ethan and Jane glide with the motion of the car.

Brandt lies on the floor of the van with his head on Jane's lap while Ethan digs through the first aid kit for anything that will help.

When Ethan is about to use the alcohol wipes to clean the dirt and dried blood trails off, Brandt weakly grabs hold of Ethan's wrist and successfully got all Ethan's attention on him.

His dark green eyes are clouded over with a feverish look and pain. Beads of sweat cover the young agent's forehead. But there is something else. Ethan sees fear, helplessness, and panic.

"I need to take a look Brandt." Ethan coaxes.

"I am ok, Ethan, really." Brandt whispers quietly. He still holds onto Ethan's wrist with no indication of releasing.

"You're a terrible liar." Ethan states as he tries to break free. But he stops dead in his attempt as he witnesses the anguish in Brandt's eyes and the trail of tears trickling down his face.

Brandt sniffs a sob. "_Please…_" Whatever Ethan is going to say or do, Brandt's desperate plead is enough to halt everything. At this moment Ethan decides he will do whatever he can even if it means leaving the IMF to never hear Brand sobs please in that awful broken voice again.

"Ok…ok how about just some water for now? Can you drink some for me?" Ethan asks softly as he carefully wipes Brandt's tears away. Ethan would gladly trade places with Brandt if it eased all these pain.

Brandt slowly nods. Water sure sounds good right now. Brandt can't remember the last time he actual drink anything that was not the freeze water they poured on him to shock him awake. Ethan grabs a nearby water bottle, unscrews the cap and shifts forward to tilt the opening towards Brandt's lips. Jane uses both her knees and slowly elevates the young agent in her lap.

"Small sips ok." Ethan instructs as he carefully angles the bottle.

The water feels good against his dry throat. But at the same time it also washes down the residual loads in Brandt does mouth, making the water tastes salty.

Ethan and Jane both are equally unprepared when Brandt nearly chokes on the water. However, it is Ethan that grabs hold of Brandt as his body shakes to expel the water.

"Slow down, breathe with me…" Ethan starts to rub small circles behind Brandt's back and takes deep breath, hoping the agent will follow his lead.

After a minute, Brandt slowly calms down, mentally trying to push away the image of his assault. He realizes now he is leaning against Ethan and his chin rests on his Ethan's shoulder. Ethan's hand is still rubbing small circles behind him. For a moment, Brandt imagines they are back in Rome where they had their first date.

"Are you still with me Brandt?" Ethan gently stokes his partner's arm. Brandt has been still for a while now and Ethan has become worried.

Brandt exhales deeply and leans closer to Ethan to show that he is aware. Ethan tightens his hold on his partner, vowing never to let go.

Jane feels self-conscious in the back with Ethan and Brandt, like she is intruding on a private moment between the two. It is no secret in their team that Ethan and Brandt have been together. Although for a while Benji was blinded to the fact. They never come out and state the fact, but little things here and there are clear enough for Jane to see.

Two years ago, Julia remarried. She wanted a child and that was something Ethan could never give her. So instead, Ethan let her go. She met a doctor at the hospital she worked in and in Ethan's absence; they quickly went from friends to more than friends. Ethan mailed the divorce paper to her house and Julia mailed her ring to his apartment. There were no hard feelings and Ethan even attended her wedding. But deep down, Jane knew Ethan was lost and miserable and that was until he came back from Rome. Ethan and Brandt went on a two men mission to extract a CIA agent in Rome. Somewhere between Ethan falling into a freezing river and a hotel in Rome, Ethan and Brandt happened.

After that mission, often Jane would catch Ethan staring at Brandt with devotion. In Benji and her presences, there is never physical contact between the two, never a display of affection or a hint of love. But every time Brandt is the decoy in a mission, Ethan will always say something extra to him. Every time Brandt comes back unscratched, Ethan will exhale deeply and smile at the young agent. Those little things here and there have allowed Jane to piece together the puzzle.

And now here, in the back of the van, Ethan forgoes all formality and holds onto Brandt.

I will gladly take your pain away, love you like there is no tomorrow

I will gladly wipe your tears away, love you like the sun will never rise

Please don't cry my love, I will shoulder all your sorrow

Please don't leave my love, I will never forget your beautiful eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: **Very dark fanfiction** with implied rape and torture. Major violence and whumpage for Brandt. Ethan/Brandt slash. MI4 does not belong to me and I am just borrowing the character.

I apologize for not updating for a while. Work has not been kind to me; however, I am super excited about the Bourne Legacy this weekend!

Also always, review! I know people are lazy and that is why fanfiction serious needs a like button like Facebook.

Enjoy~ BW

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**Chapter 3 – Lead the way **

"We're here" Benji parks the van and stares at the three agents in the back. In his mind, he has been playing Ethan's initial reaction to Brandt's disappearance over and over. The rage and the fear that Ethan had expressed are forever burned into his memory.

Ethan shows no sign of moving and is paralyzed by the turn of the event.

"Ethan…we have to get him to a doctor. I have one waiting upstairs." Jane carefully touches Ethan's arm. "You have to be strong for Brandt. If you lose it here, no one is going be able to save him."

"Ethan, mate, if you don't move, he is going to **die**." Benji emphasizes. Jane stares sharply at Benji and mouths the word "shut-up" at him. But the statement has motivated Ethan and shocked him back to reality.

"Ok, Jane lead the way and Benji, you help me with him." Ethan's agent mod kicks in and he carefully unwraps himself from Brandt. Brandt moans in protest, but does not have the strength to fight his partner.

Jane quickly jumps out the car and disappears into the building they are parked in front, while Benji circles around to the side of the van.

"Brandt, we are moving, Benji is going to help me to get you out of the van ok?" Ethan lightly taps Brandt's face to get his attention.

Too hot and in too much pain to care, Brandt nods weakly to let Ethan know he is aware.

"Ok Benji come in the van and hold Brandt, I am going to grab him from the outside." Ethan instructs.

"Got it." Benji agrees nervously and hops into the back of the van to hold Brandt.

Ethan cautiously puts one his hand around Brandt and the other under his knees and mentally counts to three. The minute Ethan lifts Brandt up and out of the van, Benji gasps.

No word is needed as Ethan and Benji both eye the patch of crimson red stain that colors the spot where Brandt has been sitting.

Ethan realizes the urgency of the situation.

At this moment, Jane runs out from the two floors building with a sheet in hand and reaches over to cover Brandt.

"Lead the way." Ethan looks at Jane with determination.

tbc

* * *

The next sunrise...

Let's go to the park where you first held my hand

Where some of the snow has melted

Let me shoulder your burden

The next sunrise…

Let's go to the beach where you stole the first kiss

Where we can enjoy the ocean breeze and ride the waves

Let me shoulder your pain


	4. Chapter 4

Since it took me awhile to update last time, I update this chapter pretty fast! Hope you guys enjoy! Thank you so much for the kind reviews! I honestly don't think I deserve the kind words.

_**WARNING!**__ This chapter is really dark! Implied torture, rape, slash, major whumpage for Brandt. Please be careful if you are sensitive to those issues mentioned. I am also working on a hurt/comfort story between the two that is not so dark. _

~BW

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**Chapter 4- Trust Me**

"You can put your friend here." A 40ish male doctor with a heavy Russian accent instructs.

Ethan looks at Jane and Jane steps forward to introduce "This is Dr. Alvang, we can trust him."

Ethan nods toward Jane and carefully lowers Brandt onto a twin bed. The two floors building looks pitiful from the outside, but very clean inside.

The doctor takes a step forward and is about to exam Brandt when Ethan grabs his arm and twists it backward causing a painful gasp from the doctor.

"Ethan! Let go!" Jane immediately steps forward to restraint Ethan.

"**WHO DO YOU WORK FOR!**" Ethan shouts at the doctor.

"ETHAN! LET GO NOW!" Jane manages to peel the poor doctor away from Ethan's grip and shields him behind her.

"Ethan! Look at me!" Jane grabs hold of Ethan and pleads with him. "Look at me…no one is going to hurt Brandt anymore ok? I promise...ok?"

Ethan stares at Jane and the doctor behind her and apologizes softly in Russian. "Мне очень жаль" (I am sorry)

The doctor slowly walks forward and nods to Ethan. "We are irrational when it comes to the lives of our love ones."

Ethan bows slightly toward the doctor. He does not mean to lose control, but the stress from the past five days is becoming too heavy to bury.

Ethan looks at Brandt and he sees feverish green eyes stare back at him. He rushes over to his partner's side and grasps his hand.

"Brant…"

"I am ok, Ethan really…"Brandt whispers.

Ethan sees the fear in Brandt's eyes. He wants to hold him and tell him everything is ok, but the reality is far from ok.

Ethan tightens his grip on Brandt's hand and whispers "Do you trust me?"

Without any hesitation, Brandt nods.

"What do you have for anesthesia?" Ethan looks at the doctor.

"I have EMLA and lidocaine…" Dr. Alvang answers.

"Give me 400mg of EMPLA." Ethan instructs.

Dr. Alvang pauses for a second and then leaves the room to retrieve the item.

"Jane, go find Benji and see if you guys can find some clean towels and warm water." Ethan says quietly.

"Ok. Yell if you need anything else." Jane turns and heads out the door.

Ethan can no longer ignore Brandt's wounds. One way or another, someone has to take a look and Ethan rather it be him than some stranger.

Brandt shifts uncomfortably in the bed and stares back Ethan worryingly.

"Brandt…" Ethan speaks softly, "I have to take a look. We can't ignore your injure anymore."

"I…." Brandt blinks back the tears.

" Shhh…sweetheart I know, trust me I know." Ethan cups his lover's face and gazes sadly at him. "I am sorry I couldn't protect you. You mean the world to me and I was ..." Ethan chokes on his emotions and the helpless that he feels threatens to overwhelm him and eats him from the inside out.

What excuses does he have for this failure? There is nothing he can do to fix this, to erase this. The great Ethan Hunt suddenly feels vulnerable and powerless, a feeling that he is not accommodated to.

"No, you came…I…" Brandt turns away from Ethan's gaze and fingers the edge of the sheet that covers him.

Ethan doesn't have to guess. Brandt is afraid. He is scare what this and everything will mean for the team, for him, and most of all for their relationship.

"Look at me _William_" Ethan gently tilts Brandt's face toward him and orders softly. "Nothing is going to change between us. You are still the same William to me when I first saw you with the Secretary. I will not allow this to take you away from me. Promise me you'll not shut me out, please."

Brandt swallows whatever he's going to say and lets the tears that he has been holding back fall.

Ethan gently leans forward and kisses his lover just like their first time in Rome. Brandt wraps his arm around Ethan's neck and kisses back deeply. The kiss involves so much love, passion and pain. Ethan feels his lover's warm lips and knows this moment is not a dream. He wrestles with his own guilt at the turn of the event. As the leader of this mission, he has failed and as Brandt's lover, he has failed.

Ethan lets go first and draws in the air.

"Please trust me." Ethan looks at his lover. Brandt nods in understanding.

A knock on the door draws Ethan's attention and he looks at Dr. Alvang who waits for his permission to enter.

Ethan nods toward to the doctor and looks at the tray Dr. Alvang puts on the nightstand. Ethan notices Brandt was looking at the tray as well and he tenderly shifts Brandt's gaze toward him. "Hey, look at me. It is just something to put you to sleep. I promise I will take care of you ok? No one else but me."

"Ok." Brandt closes his eyes and tries to relax.

Ethan carefully pulls Brandt's arm out under the sheet. The whipped marks make Ethan sick, but he bites back the need to throw-up and takes an alcohol wipe from the tray and cleans an area on Brandt's arm.

Brandt filches slightly as Ethan inserts the needle into his vein and slowly injects the content. Years of practice makes this feel like a simple task for Ethan, but his hand still shakes as he draws the needle out.

"It's ok. Just relax and it will all be over." Ethan encourages and tosses the syringe back in the tray. He is not sure whether that's to calm Brandt or himself.

Brandt blinks at Ethan and tries to smile.

"Hey remember our first time in Rome, the sky, the music, the hotel and the bathroom?" Ethan asks softly.

"I remember everything." Brandt whispers back.

"Ok, can you tell me what happened then?" Ethan smiles at his lover.

"It wasn't my fault, you fell in the river." Brandt speaks softly and blinks couple times to clear his vision.

"It's ok, don't fight it William. Sleep, I will be here when you wake-up." Ethan brushes a strand of hair off Brandt's feverish forehead.

Through unfocused gaze, Brandt stares at Ethan and asks with a childlike voice. "Like Rome?"

"Yes, just like Rome, with flowers and breakfast."

With that answer, Brandt's eyes drift shut. Ethan leans forward and places a kiss on his forehead. His hand trails down Brandt's face, tracing every curve. Just like Rome. No. Nothing is like Rome. Ethan damn sure will make those that hurt his Brandt pay dearly.

"Mr. Hunt…May I?" Dr. Alvang's question breaks Ethan from his desire for retribution.

"Let me clean him and then you can take a look." There is no room for argument. Brandt has suffered enough to let a stranger wash him.

"Alright, I will wait outside." Dr. Alvang takes one last look at Ethan and leaves.

Couple minutes later, Jane and Benji return with a basin of fresh water and clean towels.

"He's sleep." Ethan states as Jane places the basin on the floor and Benji puts the towels on a nearby chair.

"He is going to ok Ethan." Jane grabs a towel and hands to Ethan. "He is strong and is train for this."

Ethan reluctantly takes the towel from Jane, but does not answer her back. Train for this? They don't sexually assault you in the IMF training process and tells you how to deal with it. How is Brandt going to be ok?

"Ethan…do you want…" Benji asks hesitantly.

"No. You and Jane can go. I'll be ok."

"Ok, but we will be outside. Just yell if you need anything else ok?" Jane nods toward to Benji and the two walk out after each other and Jane slowly closes the door.

"You think…he is going to ok?" Benji looks at Jane.

"Honestly, I don't know. I hope so. Brandt doesn't deserve this and Ethan lost so much already." Jane glances at the closed door.

Inside, Ethan wets the towel in the warm water and carefully pulls back the thin sheet that is covering Brandt. He sees a small pool of blood gathers beneath the young agent and rage burns within Ethan.

**Retribution** can't come soon enough.

* * *

Tbc.

_Children fall, mothers weep, who can comfort the dying weak?_

_Fires burn, people shout, who has the answer they all seek?_

_Blood boils, bullets fly, who will shield the innocence this week?_

_Government dissolves, buildings collapse, who will guarantee their rights to speak?_

_A world coming to an end with no hero to rely, I can only kiss you good bye tonight._


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Thank you for all the awesome reviews and the favorites and the following! I am honor and a little scare. I hope this story will be everything you guys want it! I promise I will try to do a piece about how Ethan and Will got together.

As always reviews are like ice cream! You can never have enough.

All the previous chapters' warnings apply. I am assuming by chapter 5 you know this is a very dark fanfiction; Implied rape, torture etc. I promise I will put Brandt back together at the end!

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**Chapter 5 – Self-Blaming **

10 minutes later Ethan opens the door and Benji nervously jumps up.

"Ethan?" Jane asks quietly. However, she sees the pile of bloodstained towels on the floor and understands the pure fury she witnesses.

"Uh…Can we get you anything?" Benji anxiously asks.

"Stay with him."

"And you?" Jane looks at Ethan.

"Going to finish the mission."

* * *

The next time Brandt becomes aware, he feels a soft hand is wiping a cool cloth against his burning forehead. He tries to kick the blanket that is covering him away, but the soft hand keeps pulling it up against him.

Voices. He tries to focus on what they are saying.

"He needs a hospital. Infection has set in and I can't get his fever down."

"Is there anything you can do for him? We can get any medicine or equipment. He is in no condition to travel."

_Jane…She must be the one that is continuously applying the cool cloth. _

"I don't know. If his fever doesn't come down by tonight, we would have to resort to our last option. I really don't want to put him in ice water with his injures, but the fever might fry his brain before his injures kill him."

"Dr. Alvang, Ivan, he is a good friend, please let me know what you need to save him."

"Jane, he needs a hospital and not a run-down clinic."

"Ivan, if I could take him to a hospital I would have."

"I will try my best." Dr. Alvang shakes his head and leaves Jane.

_Ethan…_

Brant must have done something to indicate that he is awake, because the next thing he realizes is Jane puts a straw between his lips.

"Here, this will help you."

The water feels good against his parch lips. Brandt blinks several times, but his vision would not come in focus. He can't clearly see Jane and that scares him.

"Eth..an…?" He asks quietly. His voice sounds harsh and dry.

"He went to get some supply for you. He'll be back ok?" Jane carefully brushes his hair off his brow and applies the wet cloth again.

"O..k"

Jane is not sure if Brandt understands her because a few seconds lately Brandt's eyes scan the room back and forth.

"William, Ethan will be back soon ok?" Jane comforts the young agent.

"I…I…I can't…see"

And that sentence sends Jane into completely panic mode.

"What?" Jane waves her hand in front of Brandt. But Brandt stares pass her into the room.

"It is ok, it is ok, is just a side-effect of the drugs we gave you. It will past ok?" Jane is not sure if she sounded convincing, but the last thing she needs is for Brandt to panic like her.

Brandt grips onto the edges of the blanket tighter and nods slowly. A sick and anxious knot of fear builds inside him. He knows deep down Jane might be lying to him, but he does not want to fall apart in front of her.

"Ethan?" Brandt asks again. He doesn't remember how long ago he asks for Ethan, but he wants his partner here.

"He went out remember? He'll be back very soon." Jane answers. She wishes Ethan would walk through the door right now and fixes this mess. She is too afraid to leave Brandt alone and too worry to scream for Benji.

Five minutes later, Brandt fells sleep mumbling Ethan's name.

Physically exhausted and emotionally drained, Jane sits down on the floor beside her fallen comrade. She only knows one thing for sure when Ethan comes back; she is going to punch the hell out of him for taking so long.

* * *

"What do you mean he can't see?" Benji asks and looks at Jane and the doctor.

"What it means. He woke-up complete minutes ago and told me he can't see." Jane looks at the doctor as well.

"It might be temporary due to the fever. But we can't know for sure unless we get a CT…" Dr. Alvang stares at Jane. "However, that's actually not my main concern. His fever is."

"What do you need?" Jane stares back at the doctor.

"Here is the list." Dr Alvang holds up a piece of paper. "Try to get everything."

"Got it. Benji you stay with Will." Jane looks at the tech.

"Ok, what happens if Ethan doesn't come back in the morning?" Benji nervously asks Jane.

"I don't care what Ethan is up to. Our priority right now is Brandt. When it is safe for us to leave the country, we will arrange for transportation."

"Alright…I guess we will leave Ethan behind and have Brandt panic the next time he wakes up…"

"Benji, I don't appreciate your sarcasm." Jane stares down at Benji.

"What do you want me to say? Ethan just leaves, Brandt can't see and we got a general selling US military secret. We'll most likely got severely reprimand when we get back. I mean it is not all looking too good right now!"

And then Jane slaps Benji. All is quiet for few seconds until a glass shattering noise comes from Brandt's room.

"Go get the stuff, Benji. We have to do whatever we can to save Brandt." Jane holds the paper up in front of Benji.

"Ok…I…"Benji swallows, nods and takes the paper from Jane. The slap still stings, but it feels good like a shot of vodka.

* * *

When Ethan returns, his hands are still covered in blood. How many did he kill? Maybe 20 or 30? He cannot remember. But these human bloods can't and never will ease the rage burning in his heart. They hurt Brandt…_his_ Brandt. No. Ethan Hunt's failure hurt Brant. All of this is because his incompetence.

"How long do you plan to stand there?" Jane's voice is cold as ice.

"It's my false." Ethan states like a fact.

"Self-blaming is not going to change what happened." Jane walks up and stands by Ethan. It has been two years since Jane started working with the lead agent. Ethan Hunt is skillful, talented, and one hell of an agent. But above all else, Ethan Hunt is detached from everything including his wife. But all that changed with William Brandt.

Couple years ago, in Croatia, Brandt was the lead agent to shadow and protect Ethan and his wife. The mission was a decoy from the start to protect Julia from Ethan's dangerous life. But Brandt paid the price with his career as an IMF agent. If not for the Secretary's intervention at the time, Brandt would have left the agency. When Ethan found out about the incident, he took it upon himself to make sure Brandt would find himself back in the field again. Brandt only told Jane pieces of what happened in Rome with Ethan and Ethan, well Ethan was very quiet about the whole thing.

"He never asks anything in return." Ethan blurts out.

"What?" Jane is confused by Ethan's declaration.

"Brandt never asks anything from me. Not my love, not my time, not my commitment, nothing. He just loves me unconditionally." Ethan explains.

"Will really loves you." Jane adds.

"And I couldn't even protect him." Ethan looks at Jane.

"It is the nature of our work Ethan. Will knows this and understands the risks of being an IMF agent. We all do. He doesn't expect or want you to protect him any more than what you as a team leader should do. We all took this job knowing today might be our last, or tomorrow we might end up in some foreign prison and…getting torture." Jane whispers the last part, knowing that every agent including her has thought about being torture and the horror that is associated with it. However, now this has become a reality to someone so close to her, she is not sure if she is prepared for the aftermath.

"I am not going to let this destroy him. I am going to fix this." Ethan is determined.

"Killing those that hurt him is not the solution." Jane softens her look.

"It's a start. I don't want to lose him, Jane. I am not sure if I can fix this."

"I know Ethan." Jane smiles sadly. Jane knows self-doubt is not something Ethan Hunt shows lightly. But Brandt might never be able to recover physically and mentally. After this, he most likely will never be cleared for field. But at this critical moment, Ethan Hunt chooses Brant. Ethan Hunt's life has always been the IMF. Even when he had to choose between Julia and the agency, he chose the agency. But today, William Brandt has just become his top priority.

Tbc.

* * *

_Let love change a season to bloom_

_Maybe then I can protect what we have_

_Let the emotion change a respective to emerge_

_Maybe then I will understand what is at stake_

_In the tender moment, we fail to see what we are losing_

_In the gentleness of this season, we fail to love each other_


End file.
